New York in Autumn
The merits of living in New York City is that life is often, or can potentially be, just like the movies. Not lovey dovey movies - in New York the reality is that most love never lasts. But like the YOLO movies, the ones with epic parties, beautiful city scenery, the chance meetings with strangers that change your life, the celebrity...
The downside of living in the city also stems from the same idea. Meaning that if you aren't having THE MOST AMAZING DAY EVER or if the food you are eating isn't like O-M-G I-need-to-take-a-picture-and-tell-everyone-how-incredible-this-Pumpkin-Truffle-Risotto-is (that may have cost half my paycheck, but we are ignoring that fact right now), life can feel pretty dull. Every bad meal or night gone wrong feels like a failure - and not just a personal let down, but as if you have all of a sudden become a disappointment to the city who has opened her arms and literally put the world at your fingertips (for good or ill). Or the fact that even when one (aka me) is in France on a very lovely, relaxing, beautiful wine tasting trip, I still have the nerve to spend and waste minutes of my time longing for New York, being curious about what is happening in the city and what I might be missing (sick, I know).
Now, I've never done hard drugs. BUT, I imagine that this must be a similar feeling to how people get sucked in. You hate it, but love the adrenaline, the feeling you get from even in the dullest of moments and thus long for it even when you know there are better things out there. ... But, are there? New York doesn't quite feel like home, but it is a city I find difficult to leave because it is a city that does not rest or wait and does not care if you are left behind. You roll with the city and change as it does or you leave. Simple as that.
I should probably look deep into my soul or something and figure out why I feel this way, why that despite my desire for real and meaningful life (I often feel my "real" life has not yet begun) - a life that would necessarily involve living close to family (fail) and surrounding myself in a neighborhood with a tight nit community (fail) - or to be in a place where convenience doesn't require you to throw money at your problems: cabs, cleaners, take-out, laundry service and essentially live where life is much simpler - I still choose the city.
But when these thoughts stream in and the city seems overwhelming, New York always gives back in just the nick of time - as if it knows it needs to give you a good high or risk losing you (as if).
And New York did give back. In the form of an epic Halloween. The kind you see in the movies - the kind that real adults go to, all dressed up in costume, with drinks flowing and music playing. Where a good time is had by all. The Great Gatsby of Halloween parties. A night of dancing, flirting and DJ's, pink wigs, champagne and a glowing times square.
But the city did not stop there, this magical night of mayhem was followed by a Saturday of picturesque relaxation. Brunch, a stroll through Central Park in all of its Autumnal glory, a museum visit and a late afternoon spent with coffee, the New York Times and friends. A day without agenda. A day without trying to squeeze it all in, in record time. A day without stress - one that just happens. You could almost feel the entire city easing into its winter hibernation. A day so rare it is worth noting.
Hello Autumn. I don't know where you came from, but I am glad you are here. And hello again New York. Bring on the shopping, ice rinks, parades and window displays. I'm ready for you.
The downside of living in the city also stems from the same idea. Meaning that if you aren't having THE MOST AMAZING DAY EVER or if the food you are eating isn't like O-M-G I-need-to-take-a-picture-and-tell-everyone-how-incredible-this-Pumpkin-Truffle-Risotto-is (that may have cost half my paycheck, but we are ignoring that fact right now), life can feel pretty dull. Every bad meal or night gone wrong feels like a failure - and not just a personal let down, but as if you have all of a sudden become a disappointment to the city who has opened her arms and literally put the world at your fingertips (for good or ill). Or the fact that even when one (aka me) is in France on a very lovely, relaxing, beautiful wine tasting trip, I still have the nerve to spend and waste minutes of my time longing for New York, being curious about what is happening in the city and what I might be missing (sick, I know).
Now, I've never done hard drugs. BUT, I imagine that this must be a similar feeling to how people get sucked in. You hate it, but love the adrenaline, the feeling you get from even in the dullest of moments and thus long for it even when you know there are better things out there. ... But, are there? New York doesn't quite feel like home, but it is a city I find difficult to leave because it is a city that does not rest or wait and does not care if you are left behind. You roll with the city and change as it does or you leave. Simple as that.
I should probably look deep into my soul or something and figure out why I feel this way, why that despite my desire for real and meaningful life (I often feel my "real" life has not yet begun) - a life that would necessarily involve living close to family (fail) and surrounding myself in a neighborhood with a tight nit community (fail) - or to be in a place where convenience doesn't require you to throw money at your problems: cabs, cleaners, take-out, laundry service and essentially live where life is much simpler - I still choose the city.
But when these thoughts stream in and the city seems overwhelming, New York always gives back in just the nick of time - as if it knows it needs to give you a good high or risk losing you (as if).
And New York did give back. In the form of an epic Halloween. The kind you see in the movies - the kind that real adults go to, all dressed up in costume, with drinks flowing and music playing. Where a good time is had by all. The Great Gatsby of Halloween parties. A night of dancing, flirting and DJ's, pink wigs, champagne and a glowing times square.
But the city did not stop there, this magical night of mayhem was followed by a Saturday of picturesque relaxation. Brunch, a stroll through Central Park in all of its Autumnal glory, a museum visit and a late afternoon spent with coffee, the New York Times and friends. A day without agenda. A day without trying to squeeze it all in, in record time. A day without stress - one that just happens. You could almost feel the entire city easing into its winter hibernation. A day so rare it is worth noting.
Hello Autumn. I don't know where you came from, but I am glad you are here. And hello again New York. Bring on the shopping, ice rinks, parades and window displays. I'm ready for you.