I hesitate to write these words as I know that in a short amount of time I may soon regret them. I will be eating them, so to speak.

It's autumn - or, almost autumn - and to be frank, I'm ready for it. I'm ready for cooler days, the sweaters, trousers, boots and many layers. I'm looking forward to changing leaves and rainy afternoons. Days spent in cozy cafes watching the world go by.

I'm ready for indoor activities - museums, listening to jazz in basement bars, brickwork, candle light and warm, comforting food. I'm ready for apple and pumpkin everything; I'm ready for afternoons spent baking and just generally reflecting on the year that has been so far.

September is when, while the earth is dying - or going to sleep rather - I awaken. It is a time when I re-energize and re-direct my priorities; examining how far I've come and where I would like to venture next.

September is like a pressure release valve as the days darken and daily routines begin again. No more long lists of to do items to tick off while the sun is out and weather good. No more summer guilt on sunny days when all I want to do is watch a movie or hide inside in the cool and dark of my apartment. No more forcing myself outside in 100% humidity and pretending to be happy. No more body guilt or bikini fears. In September I can breathe easily again, autumn has arrived.

Autumn is my time. I've always felt this way. As if God made autumn just for me. Knowing that without the autumn, without the cooling days and cooling social calendar I would go mad. As if He knew that the burnt colors of the season refresh and inspire me more than the purples and greens of any summer day. Comfort and calm in the colors of the Autumn.

Yes, school starts up and the office reignites as people return from summer holidays, deadlines loom and the end of financial year is scarily in sight. But there is a focus that the rain and the changing leaves bring. And while we live in the knowledge that winter is coming - a scary fact we chose to ignore in the moment - the autumn does not leave the same sense of compression, the trapped feeling that comes with the cold and the snow. And so we enjoy it for now. Watching the world change before our eyes. Perhaps I've lived too long in the rainy and mild weather of the United Kingdom. But regardless, I am ready.

Today I baked. Well, I stress baked today. As a distraction from work, from writers block, when I turned up the oven and grabbed the butter I have never been so thankful for clouds and rain. There is something in the methodical stirring, pouring, sifting and perfect timing of pulling brownies out of the oven that I find therapeutic. Little else can focus and calm me like baking.

It felt wonderful. Like saying hello to an old friend. If I am counting right, today is the third, no fourth, time I've baked since living in New York. That is 4 times in 16 months. If that were a batting average, I'd already be kicked off the team.

So, on reflection, I'd like to keep things simple this autumn. Forget the lists or the check ins with resolutions for 2014, my goal for the rest of this year is this - bake more. Take the time, have the patience and bake. And then maybe, perhaps, all the other chaos will fall into place. So long as I just take the time to cream the butter with the sugar, crack the eggs, sift the flour and pre-heat the oven.