Risks

In recent months (well, in 15 months...) I haven't bothered to blog. I've been living life in London and traveling on the odd occasion instead.  I won't catch you up on the past, but rather focus on the future.

I'm moving to New York.

From the Big Smoke....

To the Big Apple...

I'm excited but also incredibly scared. For a long time now I have been waiting for my next 'big adventure' (moving to London being my last big adventure  -  and that adventure is now over 4 years old).

Despite pinning for adventure and for change I am finding myself in need of suppressing the fear and anxiety which has mixed itself in amongst my hope and excitement for the coming months. I've grown to love London  -  its winding streets, cobblestones, mixture of modernity with antiquity and mostly, the people.

This poem  -  which I first heard at a friend's wedding last year  -  has encouraged me throughout last year and, at the moment, is one which I am currently clinging to. I'm not sure who wrote it, but they are a wise person indeed.

Risks

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,

To weep is to risk being called sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self. 

To place your ideas and your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naive.

 To love is to risk not being loved in return, 

To live is to risk dying, 

To hope is to risk despair, 

To try is to risk failure

But risks must be taken, 

because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. 

THe person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing and becomes nothing. 

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, 

but he simply cannot learn, feel change, grow or love. 

Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; 

he has forfeited his freedom. 

Only the person who risks is truly free. 

All of my adult life has been lived in London. So I will take the lessons I've learned with me to New York and hope that they serve me well there. 

These lessons include (among many, I'm sure): 

• Every woman should own Red Lipstick -  wearing it will transform your face, your mind and your attitude.
• Never. Never, ever, ever mix vodka, champagne and tequila on the same night. Ever. (also, red wine is delicious.... in moderation....it also stains pink dresses and white shirts when spilled....)
• On that note - when one has spilled Red Wine call Abi Lafontaine. She will come successfully to the rescue. 
• Traveling regularly to Europe (and on the odd occasion to New Zealand) makes life worth living, but is terrible for your savings account. My financial advisor, if I had one, would have had a heart attack by now...
• Ireland and Northern Ireland are two different things. Don't confuse them. On that note - if you are Scottish (or Welsh) you, apparently, are not English. 
• Canadians are actually ok (and can be very wise). Especially Korean Canadians who are named Brenda. 
• If you are a Christian and don't know who Matt Redman is, just smile and nod and agree with what everyone says until you figure out on your own who this man is. 
• All the Brits (Scotts, Welsh, Irish included) secretly LOVE Americans.  Deep down they are all just jealous of us and would rather be in L.A than in London. 
• And finally....

What the British say	What the British mean	What others understand
I hear what you say	I disagree and do not want to discuss it further	He accepts my point of view
With the greatest respect…	I think you are an idiot	He is listening to me
That's not bad	That's good	That's poor
That is a very brave proposal	You are insane	He thinks I have courage
Quite good	A bit disappointing	Quite good
I would suggest…	Do it or be prepared to justify yourself	Think about the idea, but do what you like
Oh, incidentally/ by the way	The primary purpose of our discussion is…	That is not very important
I was a bit disappointed that	I am annoyed that	It really doesn't matter
Very interesting	That is clearly nonsense	They are impressed
I'll bear it in mind	I've forgotten it already	They will probably do it
I'm sure it's my fault	It's your fault	Why do they think it was their fault?
You must come for dinner	It's not an invitation, I'm just being polite	I will get an invitation soon
I almost agree	I don't agree at all	He's not far from agreement
I only have a few minor comments	Please re-write completely	He has found a few typos
Could we consider some other options	I don't like your idea	They have not yet decided
Correct me if I'm wrong	I'm right, don't contradict me	I may be wrong, please let me know
Up to a point	Not in the slightest	Partially

2 months to go.  I'll be stuffing my time with as many London icons which are feasible to see and experience between now and my departure. 

Cheerio ol'Blighty. I'll be back. 

Twenty-Five Things.

My birthday, in case you didn't know (and in that case, better put that one in the calendar for next year!)

Twenty-Five Things

Five Birthday things :
1) Birthday surprises are good. Like, Surprise! Champagne! or Surprise! Chocolate Delivery! or Surprise! Birthday presents!  Yes. Surprises are good.
2) Calories don't count on birthdays. never-ever. ever. That is why it is okay to have strawberry milkshakes at lunch and strawberry chocolates after lunch (Surprise! Chocolates!) just because they were sent to you. And champagne. Yes, it is always good to have birthday champagne (or champagne at anytime, really).
3) Bowling. Birthday bowling is fun.  You get to wear bowling shoes.
4) On your birthday it is okay to be in the VIP section of a nightclub in a t-shirt and jeans. Well, I hope it is okay anyway, because I did it... (and then one should learn that one should never go 'out' to a pub and not expect the evening to turn into an expedition to a club where the ladies dress fancy and wear pretty heels and red lipstick n'stuff...)
5) It is good for birthdays to last more than one day.  A weekend is nice.  And if you are very clever, an entire week is even better. Celebrate your birthday, stretch it out and make it last. You deserve it - you've survived another year!

Five things I have learned in the past quarter-century:
1) Never where a white shirt when eating tomato soup. Just don't do it. Trust me on this one.
2) Red Lipstick is a beauty miracle. Ladies, find your shade and rock it. The boys won't be able to take their eyes off you. (but... be sure to check your teeth...)
3) Getting lost is the best way to find yourself and know the way thereafter. (whoa, deep. moving swiftly along now).
4) Don't go 'out' to a pub on a Friday night in a t-shirt and jeans. Chances are you'll end up in a club with ladies in fancy dresses and heels and rockin' the red lipstick. Awkward.
5) It is sometimes okay to sleep in.  And to have those days in which you don't do anything but stay in your pajamas, curled up in the duvet, watching re-runs of Made in Chelsea and looking at pictures in magazines. Sometimes.

Five things I'd like to do this year:
1) Write more letters.  In fact, twenty-five letters (seems appropriate). You know, snail mail. Using that thing called the Post Office.
2) Bake twenty-five new things (again, appropriate) that I have never-ever baked before.  I may need to call in Nigella for this one.
3) Learn (or re-learn) something. Like guitar or knitting or Italian or French or ... something.
4) Plant something. Like a tree or a flower or... something.
5) Read the Bible. Cover to cover. The whole thing. I've never done that before.

Five things I like :
1) Red wine & Whiskey (okay, thats two)
2) Pretending to read magazines and actually just looking at the pictures.
3) Eating food with friends (and dancing with friends. Again, two - sorry!)
4) Riding my bike.
5) Laying in the grass and tumble rolling down hills.

Five things I don't like :
1) Being mistaken as a Canadian.
2) Smog. Black lungs - no good. oh, and dog poo on streets is not so nice either.
3) Jaeger bombs.  In fact, anything with Jaeger. I dislike Jaeger.
4) The dark.
5) Pink (well, mostly. Sometimes pink is good. Like pink wine, or pink champagne, or pink chocolates, or pink roses or pink sprinkles....okay, maybe I actually don't dislike pink that much...)


Thank you all who celebrated with me and sent me messages and cards and gifted me with wonderful things!  Twas certainly a great start to number 25 of life on Earth.

H x

love (or something like it...)

So...guess what.  I've got exciting news.  I mean, May-Jor.

Dare I say it?

Well.... okay then.
I'm in love
With a bike.

Isn't it perrrrdy?

And trust me, these feelings don't come around too often.  I mean, for a pair of shoes or a handbag maybe (okay, regularly).  For a boy.... even less so.

But my, oh my.  The bike.

And the best part? (yes, believe it or not, it gets better!)

The Hamburger Bell.

Yes, a hamburger bell.  No further explanation is necessary, really.

I never knew I could feel this way about a road bike - in fact I was downright nervous about the whole idea at first...

A bike? In a city?
On the ROAD?
But, isn't that where the CARS are?  You know, those massive steel machines driven by angry - and perhaps incompetent - commuters at a speed that isn't technically, or legally, allowed?

(Growing up in the Northwest of America, bikes only came in one style - Mountain.  And that, generally is where they were used. In forests and while camping, (and perhaps in suburbia as well), but not in the city. And definitely not on the road. Thats just crazy. )

Add to this the insane and often incomprehensible London road system and me on a bike has all the ingredients to be a recipe for disaster.

But I took a risk.  I bought the bike. I rode the bike. And discovered, I like riding the bike.
Its actually not all that bad. Or scary.

Now lets just pray no one opens a car door in to me... (sorry Mom, please don't read that part.)

Life and Cemeteries

I like cemeteries. 

Some of my friends find this fact about me strange.  And I realise that it does sound weird, or at least slightly gothic.  But I enjoy wandering through cemeteries, finding the oldest tombs, and realising the sense of peace and quiet found in a cemetery that you can find nowhere else.

I once read somewhere that you should make all major decisions in a cemetery.

At first, I didn’t understand what this meant. This advice seemed odd. Why a cemetery?  I figured it had something to do with, death, wisdom, etc. but was still unsure.  Still, however, last year while in the midst of change, and making career decisions, I decided to give it a whirl.  Perhaps the cemetery would provide for me what my own brain was struggling to decipher and decide.

So with my head full of all sorts of seriousness and meaning, and looking for some sort of divine wisdom, to the cemetery I went. 

I must admit, I think I was expecting a miracle.  Hoping for something awe-inspiring to click in my head.

And what did I get? 

A cemetery. 

Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Rows upon rows of crooked tombstones, rotten and broken through hundreds of years of weather-wearing.

I had forgotten about all of this until a recent trip to the cemetery near my work.   All of a sudden this piece of advice made sense.  And it all seems wildly obvious.

The conclusion I came to is thus: Cemeteries put things into perspective.   No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter how much money you make, or how little, one day you will end up here. In a cemetery. (or with your ashes strewn off some mountain - whatever works). 

Looking at major decisions in this light, the stress of decision making fades.  Priorities come into focus, while pettiness and trifles fade away. All of sudden what is most important in life becomes a little more clear, if only for the moments you are standing among the stones.

Life, is life.  On earth it changes and ebbs and flows, but always ends the same.   In a cemetery.  

So I tell myself, enjoy.  Stress less and live.

This Tombstone reads: 

Died 3/22/1899  - Went to sleep at the age of 81

"She is not dead, this friend - not dead

But in the path no mortals tread.

Got some few trifling steps ahead

and nearer to the end, 

so that you too once past the bend,

Shall meet again as face to face this friend you fancy dead"

(Perhaps death, actually, is a sweet relief from the burdens of facebook, twitter and the fast pace of life which we keep complaining about, and yet still find the time to complain that it is not yet quick enough.)